So Many Emotions
by la fleur d'or
Summary: Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel an incredible mixture of emotions at one time.
1. Anger

**A/N:** To my readers, and more new ones... this a new thing for me! I've never actually written a Gintama fanfiction before, but I've always wanted to. I LOVE the anime, like seriously, I can't stop watching it!! XD And like many others... I simply fell in love with Gintoki Sakata. I mean who wouldn't? The guy's a total heartthrob! Plus he's funny to boot :p And once I got far enough in the anime to be introduced to Hijikata... well I fell in love again XD lol. I fell in love with the relationship the two had in the anime. It was all so comedic and yet beautiful O-o I thought, what if there was more? And so forth is my short short short story of Ginhiji. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Gintama, it would be a boys love anime, but with still the general plot... juuuuust an added yaoi coupling. lol

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel a incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The First, was anger._

**I: Anger**

Gintoki got up from the floor, wiping off fallen debris and dust. He stood tall right in front of the humongous gaping hole he had just left in the meeting room of the Shinsengumi headquarters. The Shinsengumi could only gape at him in pure shock. Gintoki just looked at all of them with his deadpan fish eyes. He pointed to Kondou and said, "Oi, gorilla... shouldn't you get this hole fixed? Someone could come crashing through it you know..."

Hijikata Toushiro jumped up, pointing his sword (still in the hilt) at the silver permed man. "What the hell are you saying you idiot?! You just made that hole!" he roared in complete anger. "Don't just come crashing through places! What are you some sort of single desperate loser?!"

"Oi, don't make fun of Gin-san. I can't help if my hair's naturally wavy."

"Who's making fun of your hair! People with perms shouldn't crash through walls! There's a door-a door!"

"You definetely made fun of Gin-san's hair this time! I heard it!"

"Who cares about your damn hair! And Sougo... why the hell are you all the way over there!?" The vice commander then directed his attention to the light haired Shinsengumi, sitting peacefully in the corner sipping tea, as did everyone else who wasn't knocked onto their backs or blown back through the walls from the force.

Sougo finished his tea, then set it down and looked at Hijikata blankly. "I saw it coming when I looked out the window."

"And you didn't bother to tell any of us!" Hijikata roared.

"I was hoping it might just kill you this time."

The Demon Vice Commander was about to chop someones head off. "How can you just say that openly! Commit Seppeku you demented bastard!"

While that was going on, Gin decided to make a run for it. "Well.. I'll just be going now then..."

Hijikata grabbed him just as he was leaving. "Your not going anywhere!" He growled menacingly, his sword at Gin's throat. His eyes were purely demonic, and Gin was laughing uneasily.

Just then, Yamazaki walked in. "Hey guys, I heard something when I was out getting coffee. Woah- where'd this hole come from?"Everyone just looked at him. And he looked blankly at everyone else. The scene was comedic. The Shinsengumi on their backs, some knocked out, dust everywhere and Kondou was bleeding out his ears for some weird reason. With the distraction, Gin managed to slip out of Hijikata's grasp and ran out the door, right past Yamazaki who just watched him leave.

"See ya later, Oogushi-kun!" he had called.

When Yamazaki turned back around he was face to face with the Demon Vice Commander and his dark aura. "Yamazakiiiiiiii!!!!" He screamed and launched his attack on the other man. Yamazaki's eyes widened and he too made a run for it, but Hijikata was too fast for him and he pummeled the man with kicks and punches, and hitting him with his sheathed sword.

Sougo spoke up, "Ne, Hijikata, Danna's getting away..."

"Who the fuck cares about that curly-haired retard!" Hijikata said that, and he felt his face flush with anger... ? He could still see Gin's backside as he ran off. That kind of person... how the hell could he just do stuff like this and not care? It drove Hijikata wild with anger. And yet... every time there eyes met... there was this foreign emotion. It felt incredible... this frustration. No! The damned Yorozuya pissed him off every time. It wasn't that he liked it!

"Obviously, you do since you're getting so worked up." Sougou pointed out, a sly smirk on his face.

Hijikata tried to hide his red face. "Commit Seppeku now!"

One of the Shinsengumi dogs turned to Kondou and said, "uh...chief, your ears are bleeding..."

The gorilla man looked at him and said, "what did you say?"

**xxx**

**A/N:** -_- I didn't really like it... but ehh, it's a start! No matter how amateur-ish it is! Please tell me you like it :]]] Cuz there's more where this came from!! I'm making a little series of all the emotions Gin makes Hijikata feel. Of course, there was no major Ginhiji love in this one. Considering the title is, "Anger."


	2. Confusion

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and liked it enough to continue reading! Also, I appreciate the reviews :3 Sooooo now, please enjoy the second chapter! I realize I didn't really explain about my story in the first Author's Notes. So I will now! This will be about all of the emotions that Gin makes Hijikata feel. Every single one :D The one in this chapter, will be _confusion_. Now many people think that confusion is not an emotion. But I like to think it is. We feel confusion after all, don't we? Or we feel confused, same meaning, yadda yadda, etc. And feelings describe emotions right? So there! I'm not looking to argue with anybody about their thoughts. I respect them, but I too have my own ;) Now, onward young readers!

**Disclaimer:** I don't want to put a disclaimer in every time, so yeah. Just go read the first one if you feel like you MUST have a disclaimer.

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel a incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Second, was Confusion._

**II. Confusion**

It was probably the coldest day of the year EVER in Edo. It was this cold, and yet the Shinsengumi still had to patrol the frozen streets. Hijikata glared at nothing in particular as he walked down the Kabuki district, mittened hands dug in his pockets. He was wearing the usual Shinsengumi uniform, but with his warm scarf wrapped around his neck instead. It stood out greatly but on a day like this, who would care? Besides even if someone wanted to speak out against Hijikata's bold fashion statement, they wouldn't dare. He was the Demon Vice Commander, Hijikata Toushiro. And on a day like this, who would even be outside?

"Damn Sougo..." Hijikata muttered under his breath, cigarette between his cold lips. He could see his hot breath dissolve into the icy air in front of him. He shivered before taking another drag. "Where did that bastard go now...?" The brunette was supposed to be on watch duty with him, but had somehow -yet again- managed to get away. Sure Hijikata didn't like the boy's presence, but it was a little... comforting knowing you weren't alone. And anyways, it pissed the Vice off that that bastard was taking a break probably inside his room, drinking cocoa with a nice warm blanket, while he was out here in the cold! Hijikata pulled his scarf tighter.

"Cold isn't it?"

Hijikata jumped like a scared cat and turned to his side to see that lazy Yorozuya standing there, infamous grin on his face. He was clad in his usual jumpsuit & boots but with a much warmer coat on. He glared. "What do you want? Can't you see I'm working?"

"Just came by to see how Oogushi-kun was doing... working on such a cold day like this. It's gotta be tough..." He smirked, his beady eyes looking away as he held his head up in a way that could only mean he was ridiculing the onyx haired mayora.

That face was irritating him already. "Well wouldn't you know, you don't even work at all!" he countered.

"I always thought that gorilla overworked his dogs, but even this..." he shook his head.

"Tch... whatever." Toushiro went back to watching the almost empty streets, ignoring the jobless-loser. He took a drag, breathing out smoke slowly, and shivered.

A shuffling noise, and Hijikata felt arms wrap around his frame. Wha-what? His blue eyes widened, he felt his body stiffen. It took him a second to realize Gintoki was embracing him. "R'you warm yet?" And it took him another second to push him off of him. He shoved Gin away in two failed attempts until he finally distanced himself. The ravenette was blushing, though he couldn't figure out why. "Wh-what the hell was that!?" he shouted angrily. He just hugged him right? _Hugged?_

Gin scratched his head. "You were cold, so I thought I'd warm you up."

"What kind of way is that to warm someone up!"

"Would you have preferred I done something... more intimate?"

Hijikata's short fuse snapped. He pulled out his katana. "If you don't fucking leave right now I'm going to chop you up into little pieces and make you into mayonnaise!"

Gin laughed uneasily. "Ahehehehe, okay okay Oogushi-kun."

He was gone soon while Hijikata began to calm down, slowing his erratic breathing. His cheeks were hot. His eyes were fixated on the ground. He couldn't use any words to explain what had just happened. It was- It was... what the hell was it anyways? Why did he hug him? And why did Hijikata kind of... like it? "Ahhh, fuck!" He threw his ciggarrette on the ground and started to stomp on it in pure rage. _Fucking perm-head, confuses the shit out of me!_

_

* * *

  
_

**A/N: **Reviews for second chappy? :3


	3. Fear

**A/N:** The third installment to the So Many Emotions fanfics... Enjoy :D Don't worry I've been working on three or four of these chapters so I'll be able to update much faster next time!

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel a incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Third, was Fear._

**III. Fear  
**

Hijikata ran all the way to the hospital when he got the news. He didn't care who he pushed and trampled on his way there. Ignoring the nurses protests he shoved through the double white doors and hurried all the way to room # 305. A doctor tried to stop him. "Excuse me this patient has just woken up from surgery, you can't- hey!" he lunged for Hijikata who just tore through the door, disregard of the man's words. He didn't even stop to catch his breath until he was sure that Gintoki was all right. The man lay in the flimsy hospital bed, covered in bandages. He looked over at Hijikata whose face was red.

"Oi oi, breathe breathe! Don't die here, I'm supposed to be the one in critical condition!" The yorozuya exclaimed frantically.

The vice commander bent over, breathing hard and clutching at the cloth of uniform over his erratic heartbeat. "Sougo... told me you were here and I-" he looked up at the man whose eyes widened in disbelief. Could Hjikata have been worried about him?

"I..." Hijikata didn't know how to say it. How to say that when Sougo told him Sakata had been hospitalized after helping the Shinsengumi in a raid that turned out to be a deadly battle, in which Hijikata was ordered to sit out from, he was so scared he could barely light a cigarette without shaking. He felt pain stabbing him in the heart at the thought of Gintoki dying, at the thought of losing him. "I was scared you could have been..." he paused. It just hit him he was saying just how much he cared for the other.

Gintoki felt his lips curve up into a smile. He reached out his arm and beckoned the other forward with his index finger. "Come here," he said. Hijikata knew his face must have looked pitiful as he walked towards the man. Gintoki used his one free arm (the other was in a cast) and brought his lover against his muscled and bruised chest. His ribs were cracked in three different places, his arm broken, and he had a blow to his head that hurt even when he blinked, not to mention the aftermath of his surgery was still in effect, but he was content with this man on his chest. "I'll be okay..." he said calmly. He always was.

"Even if you say that..." he wanted to say even though Gintoki always made it through, it didn't mean he wouldn't make the others around him hurt constantly from worry, and it certainly didn't mean he would make it the next time. Hijikata was scared shitless this time, but what about the next time? Would he survive the next time something like this happened? Fear lived in the depths of his heart for this man that lived carelessly. He wanted to say that, but the words just couldn't come out. So he shut his eyes tight before tears spilled through. But it was okay because Sakata understood just what he had been trying to say.

Hijikata was trembling in his arms. How could he not understand the emotions going through the man's head right now? Gintoki lived with this fear before. It was a terrible thing of him to do, live dangerously and keep the people around him on pins and needles. But knowing someone truly cared this deeply for him only made him more passionate to fight for them. The only reason he helped out in that raid was because he took Hijikata's place. He had just about begged Kondou to let him do it, because he was so afraid that the Vice Commander would get hurt. He feared for a life other than his own. "I'm sorry for making you worry." That was all he could say.

Voices broke them out of their moment together. Hijikata furrowed his brows. It was China and Four-eyes, he thought in annoyance. Gintoki felt him slipping out of his grip and he felt a deep loneliness seeing his other half walk away. The Demon Vice Commander gave Gintoki one last glance before he left, not even saying goodbye. They were used to that.

**A/N: **Short, I know... but eh, I like it. Reviews make me happy :)


	4. Happiness

**A/N:** YAY YAY YAY Chapter four! I can't believe I'm updating so quickly! XO

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel a incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Fourth, was Happiness.  
_

**IIII. Happiness**

"Anyways I'll be out of town for a month," Gintoki suddenly said nonchalantly, scratching his head and looking away with his deadpan eyes. The sheets bunched around his waist, sitting up, he was hunched over, his taut muscles in plain view.

Hijikata blew out a puff of smoke. He felt a pang at his heart just then, but his face never wavered. His blue blue eyes didn't even look at the Yorozuya after he said this. He said a little too coldly, "That' fine." He wanted to make it seem like he didn't care.

In Gintoki's eyes, the Hijikata didn't care. The silver samurai continued, "I would stay... although this job is paying a lot. And I've run out of money to buy jump and stuff..." he threw the last bit it in to ease the awkwardness of the situation.

"I understand, a man has to be able to work and provide for his household right." He put out his cigarette and stood up.

Gintoki watched as the man pulled on his clothes. He desperately wanted for him to ask him to stay, anything! But the Demon Vice Commander of Edo's Shinsengumi would never succumb to feelings, or petty desires. He was at the door when Gintoki said, "You know Oogushi-kun, If you asked me to... I'll stay." There was a tormenting silence as Hijikata's body stilled, contemplating his answer to such a proposal.

"Don't be stupid."

The door shut once he was gone, leaving Gintoki all alone with the unsettling silence. He sighed, and leaned back, arms extended backwards so his palms were facing the sheets on the futon he sat on. "That guy... would never say something like, don't go," he spoke to himself. "A wanton Japanese girl would be a much more probable choice." He picked his nose with a pinky while thinking to himself all the special oppurtinies he would have if he _was_ dating a wanton Japanese girl. She would wait for him to come home, wearing only an apron; _"Welcome home, nya!"_ Cook him meals; _"I made your favorite, a strawberry parfait, nya!"_ And the best part, she would be willing to do and try anything for him. Something like, dressing in schoolgirl outfits and neko cosplay. _"Ano... If it's you Gin-sama, I'm okay with anything you want to do to me...nya."_ Gintoki got a small nosebleed just thinking about his Hijikata doing any of that. No no he would definitely never, ever...

* * *

"What, Danna's left you on your own? Don't tell me you got dumped already Hijikata-san," Sougo commented with a blank face. He and his superior were patrolling the streets of Edo.

Said man, cigarette in hand grumbled back at him, getting annoyed already. "Fuck off Sougo..." He really didn't need to talk about this with Sougo, more or less in front of the entire population of Edo.

"Naa, Hijikata isn't that sort of cruel? He is your Danna after all. Don't you feel somewhat lonely?"

Damnit, the bastard knew exactly how to get to him. He should have just told that silver perm head to stay just to avoid this mess. But he didn't , and he shouldn't. Who needs him anyways… Not Hijikata Toushiro. And he certainly didn't need him on May 5th. Which was, to be precise, a day from now. Hijikata furrowed his brows, kicking dirt up from the ground when they stopped so he could put his cigarette out.

"I'm glad Danna's gone actually. It would be worth it just to see you die without him."

That's it. The Demon Vice Commander snapped out of his previous thoughts. He shouted, "you're going to die if you don't get out of my sight!"

"Someone's in denial!" Okita said in a sing-song tone. "Just admit it- you miss him." He grinned and inched his face closer.

Hijikata growled and unsheathed his katana. Before he had the chance to slice Okita's head into pieces, the sadistic prince had run off leaving behind a ticking box. Hijikata gasped in realization. He didn't have time to run! The bomb went off in seconds, putting the entire neighborhood in an uproar. The only thing you could hear for miles was, "Sougooooo!"

* * *

"Huh? What was that?" Gintoki shot his head up, warm with sweat.

"I didn't hear anything. This heat is getting to your head Gin-san..." Shinpachi said. He adjusted his glasses, face flushed from the heat. Gin hummed in thought, looking off into the distance.

"No I heard it too... It sounded like the cry of a demon!" Kagura shouted, then shuddered.

Shinpachi retorted, "what? That's impossible! Right Gin-san? Gin-san!"

Gintoki wasn't listening to the two brats anymore. It was hotter here and the three were working in the fields all day for an old farmer couple. Besides being tired, hungry and sore (and not the good kind of sore) he was lonely. Sure he had his two underlings, but the attention from a certain someone was what he really wanted. He missed being able to call Toushiro and hear his rough voice stammer and shake when he asked what he was wearing. He missed just smelling his skin after they made love, touching him in places only he ever touched. He missed waking up with someone, lying safely in his arms. Although at one point during their stay, Gintoki had actually woken up holding Shinpachi. He had barfed in the spot and thanked whoever was watching over him that Shinpachi was asleep and that nothing else had happened. Anyways, it had been 22 days, and this loneliness in his heart hit him hard day and night like a migraine. Why wouldn't the man call? Lovers did that, right? Called their other half and told them they missed them. Then again, they weren't a normal couple. They've tried to kill each other too many times to count. But Gintoki was sure Hijikata had feelings. He was human, and very sentimental when he thinks no one is watching. Gintoki had seen him nurturing an injured kitten once (and almost died on the spot.) The Demon Vice Commander wasn't such a demon after all. If only he could realize that for himself.

* * *

The Chief had invited Matsudaira, and he and the rest of the Shinsengumi celebrated their Vice Chiefs day of birth with alcohol of course. Toushiro had said he didn't need a big party but like always, the kindly foolish man didn't listen to his request. Hijikata did have a good time amongst his fellow men. As gifts went, (though he stated they needn't mind) Kondou had gotten him a lighter in the shape of a banana, telling him it would remind him of the other. Matsudaira pulled out a stick of gum and a few lottery tokens out of his pocket, while Yamazaki got him a sword case with his initials engraved on it. Hijikata found that a little weird since he was always beating the younger man senseless. What a suck up, he thought to himself. And Sougo presented a small box of cigarettes. After Kondou told Hijikata to lighten up and take one out, if only to use his banana lighter, once he lit the cig it blew up in his face. Hair standing on end, and face blackened, he spent some time chasing after Okita with a sword. Poor Yamazaki dared to laugh and was beaten with the very gift he gave to his Vice Commander.

All in all, everyone was having a good time. Hjikata had just walked outside and away from the drunken stupor that was his army. He rested his hands on the railing, and looked up at the dark sky. Stars were already decorating the huge canvas. It must be late, he thought absentmindedly. The day was almost over. Well at least it wasn't such a bummer. Toushiro thought of a silver haired man kissing his shoulder and suddenly realized that it could have been a lot better. He saw Sakata's face in the stars, smiling and winking at him. His heart ached. The image disapeared as an onslaught of noise reached his ears.

Kondou staggered out behind him. "Oi, Toushi! You've gotta see what Zaki can do with his feet!" He roared with laughter and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Eh is something wrong?" He saw the lost look in Toushi's eyes and felt concerned for a moment.

"Ah, no... I'm just tired is all. I think I'll head to my room for the night," he replied with a small smile.

"Are you sure? This is your party."

"Yeah, thanks Kondou. It was great."

"Toushi, you don't seem like you had fun!" he persisted, with a pouty expression that was just horrible on him. On someone like Otsu-chan it might have been cute, but on Kondou? Ugh. Hijikata managed to hold in his barf at Kondou's fish lips.

Thankfully before he could answer, Matsudaira slid open the door and came out, drunkenly shouting. "Yo, Kondou! Go hire some strippers or something. I'm tired of being surrounded by men. Drinking involves pretty woman you gorilla! And this Jimmy fellow is freaking me out..."

Hjikata retorted angrily, "Hey! Don't do anything that will end up in tomorrow's paper! Seriously what kind of Daimyo are you!"

After Kondou's reassurance, he walked off to his room, grumbling to himself about the idiocy of his superiors. He was lucky he held the position he did. Why if someone like Sougo was the Vice Commander all hell would break loose. More so than it already does. Despite how stupid they were, they made for some good company. But now that Hijikata was alone in his chambers, he felt a sudden emptiness fill his chest. What was he going to with the remaining 3 hours left of his birthday? He supposed he could start on some unfinished paperwork.

The clock ticked on as Hijikata worked on the stack of papers that took up his desk. And after an hour of loneliness, Hijikata was feeling pretty bad. He would be better off dead, than spending all his time alone. And it was entirely his choice that he was alone. Gintoki Gintoki, that was all he could think about! He was so stupid for not admitting he wanted him to stay. And that was always the case, right? He was so damned miserable without the perm headed fuck! He picked up the phone and dialed the number Gin gave him before he left. He said to call when he needed him, and right now was the best time.

* * *

It was nearing after dark and the Yorozuya were heading in for the night. Gintoki wiped the sweat from his brow as he descended the steps. Beside him Kagura crawled up dramatically. "Giiiiin-saaan, it's sooo hot. I'm dying, I really am. A young woman shouldn't be forced to slave in the sun all day," she drawled.

Shinpachi got to the top out of breath. Gin said, "no one forced you. We told you to stay."

"And you're hardly a young woman Kagura-chan." Shinpachi could be the straight man even in this heat?

"I am too! It doesn't matter that I eat pickled seaweed and ride a giant dog!"

They wouldn't stop bickering. Jeez kids were annoying sometimes. Most of the time. All the time. Gin-san needs a break once and a while. When was the last time he had some adult-time? Oh yes... the day before he left, when he was pounding into Oogushi-kun's bum. Speaking of bums... he was going to be one if he didn't get home to pay his rent.

"Welcome back Sakata-san!" The farmer's wife greeted the trio as they came inside. Kagura began screaming something about food, and Shinpachi apologized for her behavior like the many times before. Gin took his time taking his shoes off and putting on house slippers. The farmer's wife was a kind old lady who everyday thanked Gintoki for being such a hardworking man, and helping them in their time of need. Gin got along well with her. He'd even told her about his relationship with a very stubborn Vice Commander back in his hometown. It was his birthday today, Gintoki remembered. He hoped he was having a good time. Probably out working though, knowing him. "By the way Sakata-san, there was a call for you earlier..."

"What?" Everyday after work he would ask her if there had been any calls for him and everyday her answer would be the same as always, no.

"Yes, a man called. He didn't say much, just that he had gotten the wrong number but he asked for you specifically. He did have a rather husky voice, but I'm afraid he didn't leave his name..." Gintoki thanked her and rushed to the phone. Hijikata had called him! But why not sooner? Oh well, Gin-san would scold him later on. He was so happy that his Oogushi-kun had called him!

He dialed, waited.

"Vice Commander Hijikata Toushiro speaking. What do you want?" Did the man not have caller ID?

"You can't recognize this number, Oogushi-kun? You know I was waiting for you to call for days!"

"G-gintoki..."

"Who else... hey, you sound kind of... sad. Did you miss me?"

No answer.

"Oi Hijikata? You still there?

"How soon can you get here?"

Hijikata slammed the phone down. Had he really done that! He wasn't planning on talking to him anyways, but just hearing his voice brought out that needy side of him. It was beyond embarrassing, but If the yorozuya came, it wouldn't matter how embarrassing he had sounded. So he waited. He was a distraught mess, but he waited, hoping.

Sometime in between, Okita popped up out nowhere to bother him. He had probably heard his phone conversation too. The boy was sneaky enough to go that long unnoticed. "Oiii, Hijikata, there's no way Danna can make it in time. If you don't want your lover to run off and cheat, maybe you should call him from time to time. Communication is the key to relationships after all..." Yup, he'd heard.

"What would you know about relationships, brat!" he was yelling, despite how that upset him.

"It's basic knowledge. If you watched 'the young and the restless,' you would know this."

He left once Hijikata became quiet.

Another hour went by and once again Hijikata found himself depending on the time to enlighten his mood. He was beginning to think the phone call was pointless. Gin was never coming, and it was all his fault. If he had called him sooner... and only two minutes left until the night was over. He held his face in his hands.

He wasn't coming.

He wasn't coming.

The door slid open. "I-I'm here!"

He came.

Gintoki pressed a kiss to the wide-eyed Vice Commander's lips. "Sorry it took so long. Happy birthday, Toushiro."

And just like that, Hijikata's whole world lit up. A smile crossed his normally cross features. Is this what they call... happiness?

Sometime later, Kondou-san was making his way to Toushi's room. "Toushi, are you alright in there! Okita said you were forming a depressing black cloud- Huh?" his hands stopped themselves before he could open the door all the way. It seems he had gone unnoticed, but the two in the room hadn't.

His Toushi was kissing Yorozuya's Danna! Not very big news, considering Kondou had known for a while. But everytime it crossed his mind it brought a tear to his eye. Kondou's first born was all grown up! Crying, he watched the romantic scene unfold (with the admiration of a loving father of course!)

They were just making out, softly, flirting at it's best with a side of affection. The demonic VC pulled back, exhaling as his back was pressed up against the wall. Blue blue eyes held deep red ones, never looking anywhere but. All either were focused on was each other. Sakata was kissing him once more, and their tongues met. "You're clinging to me so cutely... did you miss me?" Gin asked with a chuckle.

Though it irked him, Hijikata answered directly this time. "Yes. And what about you?"

"Of course I missed my sweet Toushiro, laying in my arms." He had that perverted look on his face. Hijikata would have hit him any other time.

But he only leaned in, saying, "We're going to catch up on _everything _you've missed tonight."

A terrible noise interrupted their kiss. It sounded like Kondou-san on the other side of the door, crying?

* * *

**A/N: **You like? :D


	5. Embarrassment

**A/N: **This series is almost over, just to let you know. I'm so happy that I'm almost finished with it!

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel a incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Fifth, was Embarrassment.  
_

**V: Embarrassment**

"Stop it- everyone's watching!" Hjikata hissed quietly at the silver haired samurai beside him. He slapped the hand away that tried to crawl into the back of his pants. Dammit, this was becoming too much to handle.

"So? Let them watch. They can watch us even as I mount and ravish you right where you stand." He said back, his voice sounding even more sexier when he said, 'mount, and 'ravish.' Hijikata would have to get him to use those words more during sex... But not now! Later, when they weren't surrounded by a crowd of people waiting to get in the concert. Hijikata of course was only patrolling the area when the damned yorozuya pulled him aside and tried to have his way with him. It was embarrassing enough to be around the jobless, perm headed failure of a man, but to be caught doing XXX things with him was far worse.

The lover of a Shinsengumi should be a fragile, cute young woman with big eyes and tiny feet. Not some, strong, idiot guy with a mysterious past!

Why was the man even here? Did he like cute, young pop-stars? Hijikata tried to picture him wearing an 'Otsu-chan' T-shirt and singing to one of her famous songs. How gross! "Well I don't! I'm working dammit, go back to the hole you came out of!"

Shit. That was the wrong thing to say. Toushiro realized this as Gintoki's deadpan eyes stared blankly at him, then smirked."

"Is that a request Oogushi-kun? Because I wouldn't mind coming into that hole again."

"Only you could be so perverted!" He elbowed him in the gut. Good! He remarked at the sound of the perm freak dropping to his knees in pain. Hjikata walked away and began squeezing his way to the front of the crowd. It was considerably hard but Hijikata soon realized if he held his sword a head of him the people got out of his way. It was only when someone grabbed a hold of his leg that he considered putting that weapon to it's actual use. He looked back, looked down and gaped horrified. Make that- _something_, that had grabbed onto his leg. Gintoki, bloodied in the face for some reason knelt there grabbing on to him. "Let go you monster!" Hijikata tried to shrug him off. He wouldn't succumb to using brute force in a huge, messy group of people like this. It looked bad. But what looked even worse was having this freaky looking mutation of a person hugging on his leg!

"Did you think you could run from Gin-san?" he laughed.

That's it. Slash! Down went Hjikata's katana but for some magical reason Gin had blocked it with his wooden sword, still keeping a firm grip on Toushi's leg. Hijikata cursed, then tried to get him underhand, but the idiot man jumped up and instead knocked Hjikata off his feet. However, before he even hit the ground, one hand reached out and dragged Gintoki by his shirt collar down with him. The two were sloppily entangled; Gin atop Hijikata with his arms trapping them in their hold. Anyone looking at them right now would believe they were doing something pretty intimate.

Gintoki looked around, then back to his lover. He said, "Ahh, Oogushi-kun, you finally came around with doing it in public..."

Shit. He lunged to get up but he was held back down with an evil smirk on his captors face. The Vice Commanders face turned beat red. Oh shit shit shit. How was he going to get out of this one? More importantly, his honor as the Demon Vice Commander was slowly slipping! These people wouldn't respect him if they witnessed another man lying on top of him.

"I wonder where Toushi went off to, Neh Sougo where did you see him last?"

Oh shit fuck fucken shit. That was not Kondou and Okita coming closer and closer. They were not about to see him like this. Gin was unbelievably strong right then. He was still grinning like an idiot. Hijikata cursed. "Get the fuck off of me, now shithead," he demanded.

"Now now _Toushi_-kun, if you're going to be this rude then I think a little detainment will do you some good."

"Commander, I saw him over there just a few minutes ago-" Oh fuck, Yamazaki too?

"Ohh is that so? Do you think he's in that huge gap amongst all those people?"

"Knowing Hijikata-san I'd say he's causing it in the first place."

FUCK. "Just let me up, now!"

"Say please."

"Fuck you!"

"I guess you don't want to get up then..."

"Wait- wait!" He had to suck up what was left of his pride, shut his eyes and went through with it. "Please, just let me go."

Gintoki was actually stunned by this side of Hijikata. He blinked. "Sorry Oogushi but, you're just too cute for me to let you go." He had to look away and cover his then bleeding nose. Hijikata saying please in any sentence... with a face like that... Gin must of been in heaven.

"What!"

"Toushi! How could you do this to daddy! I have truly failed as a father!"

"Hijikata-san, doing it in a public place isn't such a good idea you know!"

He shut his eyes and settled down onto the ground. Oh well, at least they hadn't seen anything worse. Gin could have just kissed him or something like that- Oh shit. What was the fucker doing getting so close? Why did he look like he was about to kiss someone?

Dammit it all! Hijikata's face was undeniably pink. He could hear cameras flashing and the laughter of many people. This was just so... embarrassing!

* * *

"So I took a picture! I mean what would you have done in that situation!" Yamazaki held his cell phone out to the group of Shinsengumi men around him. He was smiling.

"Wow- look at his face!"

"Who knew the Demon Vice Commander could be so submissive!"

Yamazaki began to laugh then, unaware of the dark shadow that lay over him and the piercing red eyes. "Yeah isn't he just adorable!" He then realized that all the guys had stone cold faces and were staring behind him. Yamazaki began to sweat. "Please don't tell me Hijikata is-"

"YAMAZAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

* * *

**A/N:** You like? :D I was tempted to make Gin screw Hijikata right there in front of everybody! Haha, but don't worry we'll get to the sex soon enough :3 For those of you who are waiting for it, the last chapters will probably be your favorite!


	6. Sadness

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel a incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Sixth, was Sadness.  
_

**VI. Sadness**

"Are you telling me you were part of it all along?" Hijikata sneered. The look in his eyes told Gintoki he was furious.

"It's none of your business," he said and turned away from him.

"How dare you say it's none of my fucking business! Do you even realize what that makes you? What that makes me?"

Gin glared at him, and this surprised Hijikata. "Are you ashamed of being the lover of a criminal, Toushiro? Is that what this is about... huh. I guess I should have known in the long run your work would come first."

The Vice Commander growled, clutching at the sword hilt. He replied, "that's not it."

"Isn't it? You came here to turn me in, right."

That was insulting. The fact that Gintoki thought that was just unbelievable to Hijikata. Why did he think he was that shady? That shallow enough to turn in his... his lover just because he learned something about his past. Even if it was his duty... he couldn't bare to do that. "You're wrong. I..." But the painful truth was that he couldn't just let this go. All that he ever stood for was upholding the law, because it was what people expected him to do. "I..."

Gin said, "I'm right after all then huh?" When Hijikata didn't say anything, the Yorozuya chuckled, almost sadly, "I didn't think it would be this hard to gain your trust." He turned and began to walk away. Hijikata looked up with wide eyes. He wanted to reach out to him, and bring him back. He didn't want the man to leave.

"What am I supposed to think?" he shouted. They were in a secluded alley so there wasn't a chance of anyone hearing them from far off. Gintoki stopped, turned around slowly. The Vice Commander's face was contorted into pained sadness. "After every time you would get mixed up with Katsura and Takasugi- how should I even react to this news? By now it would be obvious to anyone else that you worked with them."

They stared each other down, not saying a word more. Until Gintoki sighed, and ran a hand through his wavy silver hair. "Everything that happened back then is in the past. It has nothing to do with right now, or... us."

That should have made Toushiro satisfied enough. "I don't fucking care whether or not you are coercing with them! I just want to know why you didn't tell me." His shoulders heaved up and down from how much he'd been yelling. "You talk about trust, but there's no way in hell you ever trusted me if you couldn't just fucking work up the nerve to tell me."

"Toushiro... I'm sorry..." Gintoki reached out to him, but Hijikata's steely blue eyes didn't let him win. He jerked away from his touch. He honestly felt like he'd just been stabbed in the back. Everything would be fine if he hadn't gotten that news. If he hadn't known!

Gin's eyes narrowed and he couldn't stop the words from leaving his mouth. "How could I tell you? You're the Demon Vice Commander! If you knew you would never talk to me again. I had to hide it from you."

It depressed Hijikata that this man didn't trust him. It upset him even more that he knew he couldn't trust him either, and now he probably never would. Fuck. He covered his wet eyes from that man. He needed time to think, he needed to get away.

"Hijikata-" Gintoki called after him.

"I'm not going to turn you in. Please, just don't talk to me from here on."

Hijikata walked away, his heart hurting. Why did it have to be this way? It was stupid and cliche, for a man to have to choose between his job and the one he... the one he could have loved. He knew he couldn't get over this. When Mitsuba died, he felt pain; but not like the pain from a sword wound. It hurt him deep in his heart and ached at his entire being until all he could do was wallow in the sadness of his reality. But this time the pain was worse, and the sadness would never end.

**A/N:** Reviews! Was that to OOC? I'm not sure!


	7. Jealousy

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel an incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Seventh, was Jealousy.  
_

**VII. Jealousy**

"Could you make it tomorrow, I'm kind of busy today," Hijikata said into the phone, while he signed papers at the same time.

On the other line Gintoki sighed before saying, "can't. The brats are dragging me to the beach. You know you should really get out and do something Hijikata-kun. It's summer after all..."

Hijikata waited a moment, as if expecting Gin to invite him to said trip to the beach. When Gin didn't say anything more he pressed on. "And how can a jobless loser like you afford to go there?" Sadly, insulting his way to an invitation was all he knew. He was a bit mad that Gin wasn't inviting after all.

"Oi! I'm a freelancer, I have plenty of jobs you know- pa-len-tee. Besides old lady and her ugly sidekick are making me go with them to cut down my rent. Don't you feel sorry for me Oogushi-kun? I have to see hideous old ladies in bathing suits after all..."

It's what you get! Hijikata thought as he cursed the man. Should he just invite himself? No no that was too forward. Anyways, him at a beach? That was very strange to think about now that he did. But because it meant spending time with Gintoki he really couldn't care less. "What about the next day?"

"Hmm... actually we're going to Shinpachi's sister's place for a barbecue."

Barbecue? Was he not invited to that either?

"Yeah I know what you're thinking..."

Hijikata's held his breath. Did he? Was Gintoki going to invite him to come along finally?

"A barbecue at an old dojo shouldn't be considered a barbecue without-"

Fuck. Hijikata was really trying to be civil and not rip the phone to pieces with his katana. Was Gintoki such an idiot that he really couldn't tell when someone wanted to spend time with him? He was muttering, 'die die die,' into the phone without knowing until Gin pointed that out.

"Huh- Hijikata, are you alright? I keep hearing the voice of a demon on the line-"

Hijikata hung up, bitterly. He lit a cigarette and glared at the walls. Gintoki was nothing but a low-life, selfish, no good bastard! If he wouldn't invite him to the damned beach or barbecue then Hijikata wouldn't jump at the chance to see him either, hell he didn't care if they hung out at all, ever!

He said that, but a few days later he found himself squished in between his Commander and two small bushes sitting outside of the Shinpachi Dojo. "Hand me the binoculars!"

"Shh!" Hijikata hissed as quietly as he could manage. He nudged away from the whining Kondou next to him. He was about ready to slap his commander, no matter how much he respected him. Why did he even ask to tag along with him anyways? It was all Gintoki's fault. If he had just invited Toshiro in the first place then he wouldn't be here, hiding in the bushes like some animal!

He adjusted the binoculars and zoomed in. "Tch, that bastard..."

"What! What did you see?"

He ignored his commander and focused on the target of the binoculars. Gintoki stood there chatting like an idiot to some man in a pirate costume. He looked oddly familiar to Toushiro but that wasn't important to him at the moment. What was important was that he was talking with Gintoki! And they were a little to close for comfort. Damn that perm headed samurai! He continued to watch the pair even as Gintoki grabbed the pirate man by the shoulders. By then Hijikata's eyes were red as fire. His hands were clutching the binoculars so hard that it was sure to leave marks on his fingers.

"Fucking typical cheating pathetic..."

Kondou gasped, "Toushi I'm sure Danna isn't a cheating-" he was cut off by a glare that made him cringe. "Why don't you give me the binoculars now?"

Toshiro didn't listen and looked through the device once more. This time there was a freaky woman in a ninja costume that was with Gintoki. Hijikata was beginning to wonder if it was a costume party... His eyes widened when the ninja-girl planted herself in Gintoki's lap and kissed him right on the lips. If Hijikata hadn't sliced the binoculars to bits right then, he would have seen Gintoki throw the ninja girl off of him and yell at her in disgust.

Kondou screeched in horror. "Toshi- my binoculars! You know I paid this much for them and how will I spy on Otae-chan!" Toshiro glared at him and muttered something under his breath. He stomped away, and Kondou chased after him worryingly. "Eh- toushi! Where are you going?"

"The rooftop! I'm going to get a better view of that cheating miscreants foul acts..."

Kondou gaped in horror. He should have never introduced his Toshi into this stalking thing! He went along with it, because he was concerned about Hijikata's sanity (not that anyone hadn't been before) but mainly because he could also get a better look at Otae from above. Once they were positioned over the edge of the shingled roof, Kondou and his Vice Commander began their stalking.

"Wah... Otae is so pretty today!" the Gorilla's cheeks reddened as he stared at the petite woman in a pink kimono.

What a cheater..." Hijikata was still glaring. He never knew that he could become this jealous, but when he was faced with the possibility that his lover was actually cheating, of course he would indefinitely become envious. And who wouldn't not believe it? Sakata was practically flirting with every girl and guy there. At the moment he was talking very intimately with a man in glasses whom he recognized as Hasegawa.

Hijkata gasped. Now that he thought about it, the two were together a lot! "Don't tell me... he was cheating even before!" A growl sounded out from his throat. His grip tightened on his sword and Kondou had to do everything he could to stop the man from destroying the whole building.

"Eh? What're those two dogs doing on the roof, huh?"

Shit. Both Shinsengumi men who looked like they were wrestling both turned and looked down at the group of people who were now staring up at them. Hijikata didn't look at anyone's face but Gintoki's. As much as this situation was embarrassing to his dignity, he wanted to see the yorozuya's reaction. And the yorozuya was stunned. Not surprisingly, a woman's shoe soon hit Kondou in the face. "STALKER GORILLA!" was heard from a girl in a kimono as she raised her fist in anger to the sky.

They were sitting on the porch soon after, of course isolated from the group of people who were giving them disgraced looks. One person, once again the man in the pirate costume had fled the scene before they got down there. Hijikata's anger only grew when he realized this might have been because he got caught in the act! He was fuming when Gintoki himself sat next to him, quietly sipping from a paper cup.

Toshiro didn't look at him at all; he folded his arms with a glare directed at everything but. He saw Kondou groveling at Otae's feet and scoffed; he would never do such a thing. He was waiting for Sakata to say something because he sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to start the conversation. Moreover, the cheater was the one who was supposed to confess and ask for forgiveness wasn't he?

Suddenly, that ugly wench dressed as a ninja (seriously, a ninja!) had sat herself in Gintoki's lap and began shooting off that whorish mouth off hers. That was it. To try and calm down his rising anger, the Demon Vice Commander lit a cigarette. "Hey... I don't believe in hitting a woman, but if you don't get out my sight I won't hesitate."

"Ah! How dare you talk to Sa-chan like that, but ohh.. suddenly I feel so drawn to you. Abuse me more, more! Hey, aren't you jealous Gin-chan!"

"What the hell! Get off of him!" Hijikata jumped up and launched himself at the girl. They butted heads, glaring fiercely at each other, as Gintoki sat there with an irritated look on his face.

"Oiiii, what are two going on about huh?"

"He is mine!"

"He doesn't belong to anyone you wench!"

"I think you've been spending way too much time with Kondou..."

"You stupid pig! I catch you cheating and that's all you have to say!"

"Eh?" Gintoki's eyes were saucers, as was every other person's there.

Dammit. Hijikata burned with shame. He just embarrassed himself even further hadn't he? Gintoki dragged him by the wrist inside before anything else could go wrong. He sighed and ran a thin hand through his wavy hair when they were alone together. "So, Gin-san is a cheater now eh?" he rose one brow and looked at Hijikata with his usual deadpan eyes.

"Shouldn't you be asking yourself that?" he hissed back.

"Oi, Oi, I don't even know what I did to be called that you know. When I talked to you the other day it seemed fine... Oh! Is it because I called you at work?" He scratched his head and began, "I know how you hate being bothered-"

"Stop talking dammit!" Hijikata shouted at him. "What do you think you're doing here anyways- talking to all these people, and that girl!" he was fuming when Shinpachi knocked on the door and opened it nervously. Gintoki was surprised to say the least.

Shinpachi spoke up hesitantly after looking at the two of them, "Gin-san is everything okay?" They both looked at the pale-haired man whose head now looked down at his lap. They didn't expect him to start laughing uncontrollably.

Toushiro's eyes narrowed. That he actually had the nerve to laugh at him was unforgiving. Maybe he really should kill that bastard. Then he would have no more problems! He reached for his sword and threatened the still laughing man. "What are you doing you idiot? Stop laughing or I'll tear you to pieces!"

The glasses-man at the door stood there with wide eyes. Should he leave? No, what about Gin-san...? But Hijikata really wouldn't kill him would he? Right... so he should leave?

"I mean it!" It seems Hijikata was incredibly serious, brows furrowed, eyes intense. Gintoki wiped his tears from laughing so hard and looked up to Hijikata with a smirk on his face. "What's with that smug look huh? You filthy scandalous s-"

"You're jealous," Gin chuckled.

"I am not-" Shit. Hijikata's eyes widened and dark brows furrowed. That was proof enough wasn't it? Although his own feelings would suffice well enough.

"What's with that pathetic expression huh? That's not the Demon Vice Commander everybody fears..."

This is only your fault to begin with, Hijikata thought.

"I hate you. Die."

Gintoki smirked as he pulled Hijikata closer to him. "Aww, my little jealous Oogushi-kun."

"I mean it- go jump in a ditch!"

"Ahehehe, I'm going to leave now..." But neither of the two men paid any attention to Shinpachi and his awkwardness even as he fled the room.

"Aww Gin-san has the cutest lover ever. So why would I cheat? Even if my cute honey is sadistic and likes the smell of blood I wouldn't."

Damnit. Don't smile. Don't smile, don't-

Shit. Toushiro's face was so red. Despite his rising anger at the fact that Gintoki just called him his, 'cute honey' and cute to begin with, he felt somewhat flattered by his statement. He didn't look at those reddish brown eyes that would penetrate straight through to his heart and make his knees quiver.

He did, however, say in a quiet voice, "you could have at least invited me."

**A/N:** Sorry about the Sa-chan hate btw! I actually do like her... but don't forgot that was Hijikata's man she was throwing herself all over, and I had to make his dislike for her obvious.


	8. Lust

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel an incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Eighth, was Lust.  
_

**VIII. Lust **

Gintoki licked along Hijikata's pale neck. The sweet skin was calling him as he sat there beside the man. Hijikata uttered out a gasp in surprise. "What- what are you doing?" he demanded with another gasp when Gin bit down onto the skin.

"Nn... does it look like? I'm hungry."

"So go get something to eat!"

"Nothing is sweeter than my Oogushi-kun," he said, whilst continuing his attack on Hijikata's neck.

"Shut up!"

"But it's true. Look I'm already hard just from tasting you-"

Hijikata snatched his hand away from that unmistakable hardness in Gintoki's pants. "Fucking pervert, I said shut up!" Gin seized his hands before he could use them for evil and pinned them above his head as he pushed him flat on his back against the couch. Hijikata blushed at the position switch. "Sakata, those kids could come in any moment. And if I remember correctly, your landlady told us to be quieter next time."

"Then I'll just look..." he hummed with a smile. He opened up Hijikata's black kimono, revealing a lean but muscled chest, and those oh so tasty looking nipples of his.

"There's no way a horny bastard like you can just look," Hijikata scoffed.

Gin looked him straight in the eyes. "But you want it to, don't you? Otherwise you would have resisted more." Hijikata shuddered. He simply couldn't deny that. Gin chuckled at the blush that came over his cheeks. "You're so cute, and delicious too-mmm" he kissed him as if he was going to eat him up. "More delicious that strawberry milk!" He then started sucking on Hijikata's nipples, gently caressing them with his teeth.

"Ooohh.. fuck..." Hijikata gasped and moaned. He was aroused as shit now, and really wanted Gintoki. He dug his fingers into silver curls as the man sucked and bit on parts of his skin that were sure to be bruised, all the while going down to a more intimate place...

"Gin-san!"

Gin jumped off of him so quick neither Kagura nor Shinpachi even suspected a thing when they came in. Hijikata's face was slightly pink, and he had lit a cigarette in record time. "Oh, when did you guys get here?" Gin laughed nervously.

Hijikata was not happy. He glared at the two that just interrupted their sexy time. Hold it- sexy time? Hijikata held his face in his hands. He was starting to think like that silver-haired pervert wasn't he?

"Gin-san Gin-san! Shinpachi and I got money for beating up a bully, so now we can go out to eat instead of eating pickled seaweed and rice!" Kagura cheered.

Gin picked his nose, regardless of the disgusted stare Hijikata gave him. The permed man said, "this isn't the yakuza Kagura-chan. We don't go beating up people for money." Hah, he thought, Oogushi was sure to like his good parenting skills. "However as long as we have the money we should put it to good use..."

"Hold it, it wasn't like that-" Shinpachi laughed, trying to save themselves in front of the Shinsengumi officer on the couch. "And Gin-san aren't you going against what you just said by keeping the money?"

Gintoki wasn't listening, but instead naming all of the things he could do with the money, out loud. "Ahh let's see, the new issue of jump, strawberry milk of course. Handcuffs, whip cream..."

"Oi, you idiot, don't make me arrest you on my day off," Hijikata muttered. He exhaled the gray smoke which went right into Shinpachi and Kagura's faces. Meanwhile, why the hell do you need all of that weird shit? He thought in outrage.

"Hijikata-san, you really shouldn't smoke inside!" Shinpachi wretched at the horrible smell and taste. Kagura was busy gagging and writhing on the floor, shouting something like, 'dying, dying.'

What was with these damn kids and his useless attitude? They were just about to have sex! He was really pissed off now. Sure Toushiro refused Gintoki as much as he allowed himself to every time but when he actually wanted to fuck, he didn't appreciate being told no. He was just glad that he had on loose clothing so his erection didn't show through. Although it pretty much died down when he saw Gin picking his nose. Remind me to have him wash his hands, he thought.

He was pissed off throughout their trip to a restaurant (Gin's favorite place to eat parfaits was what he said) and he was determined to be mad at Gintoki even while eating. He only went because the dumb loser dragged him by the elbow... Okay so maybe he was hoping to get some afterward but did that really matter?

"Uhh, we'll have two parfaits, a br-"

"Gin-san I want pizza!"

"Ano... Kagura, I don't think they sell pi-"

"Can it glasses! Mother always knows best uh-huh. So PIZZA!"

Hijikata glared miserably at all three yorozuya's. He felt like shriveling up and dying; being in their company was just that bad. Not to mention China always had to pick a fight with someone. On the way there she tackled an old man for petting Sadaru, in which the large dog bit Gintoki on the head for trying to help the poor man. The Shinsengumi man put out his cigarette and muttered profanities under his breath.

"And what would you like on your pizza?" the less than bubbly waitress said down at them. She was smiling when she first walked up to them but after standing there and enduring their mess she became fed up and just wanted to go home for the day.

"Ummm... Pickled Seaweed, Sukonbu, and sushi uh-huh, and more pickled seaweed."

"Oi brat, they don't put that garbage on pizza." Gintoki glared at her after receiving a near death glare from the waitress. "Pick something else!"

"Che... sons, once they grow up they think they can control their mothers."

"What kind of mother are you? You're three-feet tall!"

"I have a growth deficiency! Like Coleman-san!"

"It's not san Kagura-"

"Just order the damn pizza!" Hijikata just about screamed at the occupants of the table.

Everybody looked at him then with blank expressions. Then the waitress glared down at him and said, "sir could you refrain from yelling in a restaurant. It is very rude."

"Yeah Oogushi, can't you see there are people trying to eat."

Kagura tilted her chin up and stiffened her upper lip. "What a disgrace!"

Just walk away, Hijikata kept telling himself. But he couldn't do it. Damn the sexual appetite of a grown man! Finally the food was there and thankfully the brats' mouths were filled with food, stopping them from talking. As they chowed down, Hijikata picked at his plate of crap... not literally.

"Oi oi, why aren't you eating? I bought that you know, it'd be a waste if you left it there."

"And what excuse of a meal is this? Pancakes, pizza, salad and sweets? I'm not even sure what china's eating!" Hijikata grumbled and looked out the window as he enjoyed another cigarette. It seemed like he was smoking more these days. Hmm and whose fault was that? It was all that stupid yorozuya's fault of course! Turning him on and then denying him sex! Che... He thought it bad enough that he rarely saw the man, but going two weeks without sex was just torture.

"At least try it first before you say that!"

"Mmnf-!"

"See~ it's good isn't it?" Gintoki smiled as he spoon fed his lover. Hijikata grimaced at the food that was just shoved into his mouth, but chewed and swallowed it nonetheless. His face held a pink tint when he noticed the way Gintoki was looking at him. It was a good thing China and Four eyes were too busy arguing/eating to notice them.

By then they were tuned out anyways. Gintoki continued to feed him. He was becoming excited, and putting aside his shame he decided not to say anything when he felt Gintoki place a hand in his lap. Stunned, he looks at Gintoki without turning his head. The Odd Jobs remained stoic, as if his hand wasn't working it's way into Hijikata's pants at this very moment. He elbowed Gintoki in the ribs but that obviously didn't work. "Not here!" he hissed.

Gintoki didn't react or look his way. He did however whisper into his ear discreetly, "You're not being honest Toushiro. Let me pleasure you~"

"Ah~"

He clamped his hands over his mouth as soon as the sound left it. Gintoki had gripped that bare flesh and squeezed it gently. He was sliding his hand up and down at the very moment. It was so very hard for Hijikata not to moan out loud and arch into that hand. Gintoki that idiot! How could he do such a thing in front of an audience? Unfortunately Shinpachi had heard this and was now looking at them curiously. Oh god oh god he knows! The look in his eyes right now says it all, Hijikata thought frantically.

He tried to keep calm, even as Gintoki's hand started to go lower and lower and pretty soon his fingers were prodding at a certain area that was very _very_ sensitive. By then his face was red, his breath was coming out in quiet little gasps. He had to remove his hands so Shinpachi wasn't suspicious, but now he looked like he knew exactly what was going on.

"Vice Commander-san are you okay? You look a little red..."

"F-fine! I'm just fine." He managed to say briskly, looking down at his plate of uneaten food. And he tried to convince himself of this until that little spot inside of his body was hit directly.

"G-gintoki!"

"H-H-Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi stuttered out, blushing profusely. Had the Vice Commander just moaned! Taking in the situation, Shinpachi looked at Gintoki who at the moment seemed incredibly busy. Suddenly Shinpachi realized exactly what was going on. His blush rose all the way up to his ears.

"Ne, Shinpachi~ you're red..." Kagura said as she nudged his cheek with her greasy, cheesy slice of pepperoni pizza.

Toushiro was equally just as red as Shinpachi, and turning more so as Gintoki continued to thoroughly pleasure him beneath the table surface. _I'm going to kill him I'm going to kill him I'm going to kill_- _Wait a minute, why am I just sitting here!_ Everybody was looking at them while this smug bastard just sat there!

Hijikata gathered his wits, then skillfully pulled out his sword and hit Gintoki with the blunt right in the stomach. The perm-head keeled over immediately with a groan. Toushiro grinned like a madman, grabbed Gintoki by his shirt collar and said, "you better save your strength Yorozuya, you'll need it once you **** my **** so ****** hard you ****!"

Shinpachi watched in horror as Hijikata dragged Gin-san out of the room. Kagura, meanwhile chewed on a piece of pickled seaweed, in thought. "Shiiiinpachiii," she asked, "why did that useless pig take Gin-san?"

"I'll tell you when you're older Kagura-chan." By then, hopefully the years of counseling will have prepared him to describe to her their boss' weird relationship with the Shinsengumi Vice Commander.

**A/N:** I took forever with this chapter, so shameful. Don't worry the other two are already written! Please review! Please! Tell me how much you liked or disliked (hopefully that's not the case) it will really boost my confidence. I could use that right now. Thank you! xxx


	9. Weakness

**A/N:** Yay yay yay, we've come this far in my latest series! We're almost done so leave me love! Also, I got a request for a smut chapter, and here it is ;)

_Sakata Gintoki was probably the only man that could make Hijikata feel a incredible mixture of emotions at one time. The Ninth was, weakness.  
_

**IX: Weakness**

_I was beginning to see just how women feel when they really fall for someone. Only thinking of them all day, and wishing at every knock on your door, every phone call, that it was them. Having that strong want to be around that person all the time. And when you're with them, you can't stop the butterfly sensation in your stomach, the feelings of happiness that swell through your entire being and the smile that just won't go away, no matter how hard you want it too. Because showing just how much you rely on that person, will count as your form of weakness. And when you're weak, is the time where anyone can break you._

Hijikata Toushiro does not fall in love. That's what the vice commander told himself every time he saw Gintoki Sakata. And yet each time he said it, he was reminded of much that was a lie.

_H & G_- Hijikata blushed as he caught himself writing that on the reports he had been working on all day. He madly scribbled it out with his pen before anyone could witness that disturbing act. Dammit, what could possess him to write such an atrocity! It was something a lovesick high school girl would have done, not something for a Demon Vice Commander to do! Thank god he was alone in his room so no pestering lower rank officer could bother him about it, let alone Sougou torment him about it-

"Well well Hjikata-san, I wonder who the G stands for..." Speak of the devil. Hijikata looked up from his paper like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His steel blue eyes narrowed seeing the sadist standing bent over grinning at him. "Could it be... Danna-san perhaps?" Sougo chuckled as Hijikata's eyes widened. "Oh... Did I hit the nail right on the spot?"

Hijikata hid his crimson face. "Die already Sougo..."

"Now now Hijikata-san you don't need to be embarrassed. Anyone would be glad to be in a relationship with Danna after all..." He cupped his hands around his mouth and called to the shinsengumi men outside. "Hear that everyone- Hijikata-san and Danna are-"

He didn't get very far in his statement when Hijikata attacked him with his katana. Okita just barely blocked the attack with his own weapon. "You shouldn't be so violent with your own men Hijikata-san. Unless... that is something you do alone with Danna."

"You're the S&M freak you bastard!" He lunged for the smaller man and ended up chasing him around the room whilst the sadist sang a song about he and Gintoki.

He had just caught Sougo by the collar of his uniform when the paper doors to his room fell in, revealing Yamazaki and some of the men. Hijikata dropped Sougo then. "What are you doing spying on me Yamazaki?" he growled out, advancing closer to the man.

Yamazaki stuttered nervously, "I-uh I was just coming over to give you these papers and found these guys-" he looked behind him to see everyone else had disappeared. He hung his head. "I guess that won't work now," he muttered. Hijikata drew his sword above the spy's head and-

Gintoki appeared out of nowhere, picking his ear as he rested an arm over Yamazaki's head. He said, "Oi, what's with this hole in your wall? Wasn't there a door here?"

Yamazaki looked up. Saved! He put his arms around Gin, crying. "Thank god Danna you came just in time!"

Gin looked down. "Huh? This wasn't an armrest?" He shrugged the other man off and resumed into the room and over the pieces of the broken door. "Anyways Hijikata san I came here to give you something important-" he cut himself off as he looked at said man's face. He was looking off to his side, blushing profoundly. To his far right, the sadist stood with an evil smirk as if he was going to start laughing. It reminded him of Kagura.

By this time Yamazaki was aware of the display. Hijikata- blushing? It was madness! Yet he couldn't look away. Was Gintoki about to... embrace him! Yamazaki hid himself behind the wall and peeked in, blood flowing from his nose. Some of the other Shinsengumi men were behind him, watching the scene in interest.

"Oi... what's wrong? You look all gross and red. Did you get enough sleep?"

The men sighed. Of course! What were they thinking when they thought their Vice Commander was in a relationship with the Yorozuya. They all began to laugh amongst themselves. That was when Hijikata noticed them again. This time he was not as merciful.

"GET OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" The entire room was in wreckage once Hijikata Toushiro, Demon Vice Commander was through with them. His lousy excuse for men lay all over in despair. Hijikata stood heaving amongst it all.

...

"You're such a violent person. You should really consider therapy..." Gin babbled on to his lover as they walked to his apartment. It was night already so no one would take notice of the two. Even if they did, Hijikata would kill them before they could utter his name.

"Shut up," Hijikata said crudely, cigarette in his mouth.

"-you behave like that because you don't want them to find out, but they already know. Such a shame." He shook his head.

"I'm the Shinsengumi Vice Commander, of course I wouldn't want anyone to find out I'm the lover of a no-job having, curly-haired, loser."

Gin scoffed, "so my curly hair is a problem then. Look this hair is popular in those Shounen magazines, what you don't think so? Lot's of women die to have this bounce."

Hijikata chuckled, in which Gin smiled at him. They reached his apartment momentarily and were all over each other before they could fully get into the living room.

Kissing Gintoki was starting to become one of Hijikata's favorite things, next to mayo and cigarettes that is... He pushed him back onto the couch and attacked his lips. But he pushed back. "You're going too fast!" Hijikata wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand, brows furrowed at the other male.

Gintoki reached over and brought Hijikata closer, following back into their kiss. He guided his head lower and lower, and Hijikata let him all too willingly. He looked up from his position into those dangerous red eyes. He smirked and said, "anyways, we have all day..."

...

Gintoki sighed in satisfaction as he draped his muscular arm over his partners waist and pulled the other closer against his firm chest. He smiled lazily, inhaling the musky cologne that was Hijikata. He hadn't taken a shower before but that was okay with Gin. He smelt good either way. There was also this sweet, sweet smell of sweat and their cum mixed together on the Shinsengumi dog's bare body. It was intoxicating. And it reminded Gintoki of the activities they had done the night before. Such things... were enough to make any man blush.

And just thinking about it was more than enough to get Gin horny again. He recalled just how sexy Hijikata had looked sucking him off. Bobbing his head up and down... those soft lips around his shaft. When Gin was about to cum, his lover pulled out just in time... to have Gin empty all over his face. The Vice-chief's face had turned bright red, and god if he didn't look absolutely delicious right then. Gin didn't think he could wait any longer... Bad enough that the man had begun to lick the substance from his fingers after that.

Gin groaned. He felt his dick grow hard. His hands were traveling all over his Oogushi-kun. He reached for his manhood, but got his hand swatted away.

"Don't be a pest," Toushiro grumbled. Gin only shoved up against him, making him gasp and arch as he slowly entered his lover's tight ass. "What the hell are you doing? G-get out!" Hijikata hissed, breathing hard as he blushed. Damn it still hurt even though they've done it a thousand times already! Gin only moaned in response and wrapped his arms around the other. He thrust his hips forward slowly. Hijikata moaned instinctively. His arms were bunched up against his chest, knees bent as Gintoki assaulted his ass sideways. "G-gin..." he repeated.

"Shh, you're ruining the moment."

"B-bastard! I said pull out-aaah!" Just as he'd finished talking, Gin's hands snaked up his lean chest and tweaked his nipples, turning them hard. Hjikata felt that hot mouth on his ear, biting and sucking on his sensitive flesh. He couldn't help the whimpers and soft moans that escaped from him.

"For someone who fights me every time I wanna do it, you really enjoy this a lot don't ya...?"

"Aaah-no!" Hijikata moaned. He cursed mentally at how girlie his voice had just sounded. He was not girlie. The only reason he refused every time was due to his pride. Hijikata was the Demon Vice Commander. _Vice_ Commander. Not a person you take lightly. And yet every time he and Gintoki did this... he was resorted to this blushing, weak- this docile silly teenage girl!

"Mmmm, Oogushi..." Gin's breath was becoming erratic, his thrusts joining into the their rhythm.

It was all too much. Hijikata couldn't deny he was feeling pleasure. Or... he could. "I hate you."

"Shut up." Gintoki flipped Hijikata onto his stomach and resumed fucking him face down into the floor. His strong hands gripped the Shinsengumi's hipbones.

"Ha... ha... ha..." Hijikata eyes were half-lidded, his tongue hanging out his mouth as he drooled. It was so good, but he hated it. He did. He hated Gintoki for making him feel this good. With his ass in the air, he felt like a fucking dog. Ironic, but true. So humiliating... he was almost at his point. Feeling the thrusts going in and out, in and out. Oh god, the pleasure was just killing him! But he needed more. "G-Gintoki, more!" His husky voice commanded.

Gin watched his sexy lovers ass as he pounded into it mercilessly. "Hmmm? What's that? I thought you wanted me to stop?"

Fucking Bastard. He was avoiding Hijikata's spot every single time! Hijikata knew the yorozuya knew where it was. "Just fucking make me come!" He screamed, fed up. He was not going to wait any longer.

Gintoki chuckled, showing his gorgeous white teeth. "If that's what you want, my Oogushi-kun." Said man shivered. Suddenly the silver samurai started to thrust in way more harder, up to the hilt each time, making Hijikata gasp and shout. He went in a few more times and then hit the ravenette right in the spot he desired.

"Haaaah!" Hijikata shouted as the indefinite pleasure shot through his body, causing him to arch his back. His blue orbs widened. Drool emptied his open mouth."Th-there-again!" He moaned and moaned until it felt like he couldn't moan any more as Gintoki obliged and hit him over and over. "S-so fucking good...ahh-nghh..." He felt himself coming all over their sheets.

"Already Oogushi-kun?" Gin grinned. He himself was going to lose it at this state. When Hijikata had orgasmed, his muscles had squeezed the man's dick till it was unbearable! But he wouldn't come yet- he wanted this to go on.

"Dont call me that in this situation-fucking yorozuya!" Hijikata's face heated up. That the samurai could still call him that during this time was unforgivable! He barely ever used his real name. Wasn't it something lovers did while they had sex? Then again... they weren't lovers... well they were, in simple terms. But they weren't- they weren't _in _love. Yet they made love. Fucked was more like it though.

Gin smiled and whispered huskily, "Toushiro it is then..." And the Vice Commander became hard again instantly. He gasped as Gin's dick pummeled into him harder, then bit down on his hand, trying hard not to scream. "Don't hold it in, let me hear your voice..." his words sounded so needy, and it was then Hijikata realized that Gin needed this just as much as him. Maybe he wasn't the only one in deep? He wasn't the only one subjected to such animalistic pleasure. Subjected to weakness.

Gin started chanting his name. Hijikata was turned around so their faces met. When he looked into those reddish-brown eyes he felt something stir in his chest. "Gintoki..." he loved saying his name. He loved looking at the face he made when he came, loved how after sex he would drink a full carton of strawberry milk and make him a mayo-sandwhich even though it grossed him out. He was beginning to name the things that he loved about him off the top of his head, only to himself, because thinking about it drove him wild. He loved the way Gintoki could drag him out working at any time and not have his Chief mind one bit, only because he knew just how happy he made Hijikata. He loved how sexy Gintoki could be; how easy it was to get in the mood around him, and how hard it was not to subject to those deep red pools of heat. He loved- he loved Gintoki Sakata.

"I love you." He had said it before he even realized he was talking. And then his eyes widened. Gintoki felt himself coming at those words, though he looked surprised, and Hijikata gasped and moaned from the feeling. They rode out the orgasm, before the vice commander pushed the other off of him. He wouldn't look up at him even as he stood up, got dressed and left all in a hurry. He didn't look back to see Gin's face, and he didn't break down until he was alone in his room at the barracks. He cried, he was so weak. So weak. And the silver headed samurai's expression at that time was more than enough to push him away forever.


End file.
